March 2, 2016

The Obituary of Religious Right

Religious Right, 36, died suddenly Tuesday night, March 1. Mrs. Right, known for her standing with republican politicians on issues of life and morality, succumbed to heart failure due to ongoing issues from injuries initially sustained November 2008 and again in November 2012.
Born to the late Dr. Jerry Falwell in 1979, Mrs. Right was initially known as Moral Majority. She was credited with helping secure both of President Reagan’s terms in '80 and '84. She also assisted in George H.W. Bush’s election win in '88.
After eight years of condemning nearly every decision President Bill Clinton made, Mrs. Right came through in a pinch for George W. Bush in 2000. She, along with 9/11 memories helped to secure Bush’s win in 2004 as well.
When 2008 rolled around, however, her influence in the Republican Party began to dwindle. But she pressed on and backed moderate candidate Senator John McCain despite many misgivings. McCain’s ill-fated decision of adding conservative Alaska governor Sarah Palin to the ticket clinched the deal for Mrs. Right. Their loss to Senator Barack Obama caused Mrs. Right to experience episodes of paranoia resulting in numerous conspiracy theories that nearly decimated her credibility.
In 2012, Mrs. Right grasped onto Republican candidate Mitt Romney in a daring move that nearly cost her everything. Still, she was able to justify voting for the then recent convert to the pro-life, pro-family stance because of fear over the impending doom of a second Obama term. Her near complete forfeiture of the values she held dear, coupled with another loss to President Obama left her on life support for weeks.
She recovered, thanks to President Obama’s assault on life, religion, and the family from 2012-2015. Things were finally looking up as President Obama’s term was coming to a close. There were at least 10 candidates she could support without sacrificing multiple convictions. However, she decided to sacrifice nearly all of those convictions, casting her lot with a strip club owning, Planned Parenthood supporting, Democratic Party donor.
Her candidate, Republican frontrunner Donald J. Trump, swept nearly every state in the Bible Belt on Super Tuesday with her help.  The presumptive nominee’s wins in the south started a ripple effect, culminating in Mrs. Right's death shortly after Mr. Trump, in his victory press conference, extolled the virtues of Planned Parenthood mere months after undercover cameras caught the organization illegally selling organs from aborted babies. 
Services will be held this July in Cleveland, Ohio with her nominee, Mr. Trump, likely presiding.
Flowers and condolences may be delivered to the offices of her brother Dr. Jerry Falwell Jr., and her spokesman Pastor Robert Jeffress.
There will be no visitation as per family’s request.

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I'm Joel A. Barker - I'm a worship pastor and soon-to-be church planter. The Church is my passion. This site is the home base for my ministry, featuring thoughts on all things worship, devotion, and the Kingdom. Kick back and stay a while.

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